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Top 5 things I would prescribe your doctor

Hi! I know how you are feeling!

The doctor’s appointment is due and you are shitting bricks. This time you have to take all possible cultured and uncultured reports, the heart’s murmurings to the sodium, potassium levels to D-3 to cholesterol and sugar levels and well, if it’s one of those annual visits then the MRI and PET scan reports too.

Doctors are like God tor us. The Ultimate. In front of whom we surrender. Ofcourse, we question them and their actions but at the end, go by what they decide for us.

I have seen many doctors from close quarters over the last decade. I have come across many sincere, hardworking and genuinely concerned doctors. Those who care not for Saturdays or Sundays or an Eid, Christmas or Diwali holiday, or for that matter the time of the day or night and are forever at your beck and call. This I am sure a Myasthenic patient shall understand and appreciate more than most.

Having given the doctors their due, I would however, want to say, that they lack some basic skills that they were never trained for!

If I had my way, I would prescribe the following 5 things to each of my doctors in a neat and clean handwriting!

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  1. SMILE AND GREET: atleast 8 times a day.

It’s OK to smile. You are in a serious high tension position. Let us not make it more serious with your matter of fact countenance.  Say Hi to me! Greet me when I enter the room however grave my situation be. One look at you or rather one smiling face of yours shall make me a 100 times better than the doses of insulin you shall suggest soon!

You may be an expert, a specialist in your field of work but I miss my family doctor that I can find in neither my Neurologist, oncologist, thoracic surgeon, ophthalmologist, endocrinologist nor dietician.

 No I don’t expect you to sit and chat with me on the late onset of monsoons or why ‘PINK’ is a must watch movie, but yes I do expect a little more than just looking at the previous prescription, tapping my hands and feet with that little hammer, asking me to do the cat walk in that room, breathe in and breathe out before the next prescription is ready.

 

 

  1. EXPRESSIONS SHOULD MATCH THE REPORT: for each patient

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They never taught about-to-be docs how to emote. Their expressions have nothing whatsoever to do with what they are doing, reading, contemplating.

 I have to share this with you. Each year, I have my MRI scan, whole body PT Scan with colour doplar, you name it and I get it done. This report tells me the course of action for the years to come. It’s almost like I shall be opening my Tarot cards. Let’s see what is in store for me this year!?

The entire month I mentally prepare myself to first take an appointment from him, then from the MRI center and then again one appointment from him to show the report. This is the month when I have no constipation. It is only loosies…..etc….yeah…the strong I is nervous.

And finally when the report day arrives, I gather all my courage, yet walk behind my hubby, as though it would somehow, protect me from an unpleasant report and take a seat in front of my oncologist. He is a darling. He is sweet, endearing, caring and over the years we have a rapport of sorts.

However, those 3 minutes when he is reading the report, checking out the MRI sheets against the white tubelight rack, is when I die a thousand deaths. In this decade I must have got atleast 16 to 17 CT Scans and MRI’s done. It’s the same scene each time.

Getting overweight, he adjusts and readjusts in his chair, a Manoj Kumar style hand he sways from his cheek towards his lips, heaves heavily, sighs deeply, looks up at me briefly, looks back at the report to eventually keep it on the table to give the final verdict. “The report seems fine, everything seems ok.” WHATTT?????

Then

  • Why is your expression not matching the content of your conversation?
  • Why does it feel from your face that I only a handful of months in hand?
  • Why can’t you loosen up your eyebrows and smile as you read the report that all is well?

 

  1. CHAMOMILE/JASMINE AIR FRESHNER? Twice a day

 

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You and your room needs one. To get rid of the smell of capsules and medicines and mascarpone tapes.  Trust me if the room smelt a little better I would feel better too. It works. Try this site for ideas else just pick up an essential oil and pt a drop or two on the tube light or light!!!

http://www.organicauthority.com/homemade-air-freshener-essential-oils

 

  1. HAVE A WINDOW: Forever:

 

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I would not complain about your illegible or incomprehensible handwriting but would surely complain about that window in your room that I have never seen the outside of. And I can lay a bet you too haven’t in years. To survive and thrive we need photosynthesis. You as a doctor have not only blocked it with a glossy flowery golden tinge thick curtain with the off white lining peeping out at me, but have also forgotten about its very existence! And then you end up prescribing Vit D tabs to all of us and pop one yourself.

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  1. GIVE A WAITING NUMBER TO THE PATIENTS OUTSIDE : Always

 The same way as you work hard the patients waiting outside too have worked hard to reach your dispensary and have waited hours to meet you. Testing the patience of your patients might be detrimental to your health as well as that of the patients and their families.

 

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Talk to me,  listen to me, open the windows, let there be air and light and fragrance , let’s smile a bit, remove that permanent frown off your face and smile a little more, loosen up a lot more and see me, your patient getting better and healthier at double the rate.

Do share my friend an incident when simply speaking to your doctor you felt better and went hopping back home!!!

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