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5 Places men should be banned !

Yes Banned. Debarred.

However, much I may be for men and women equality, the fact remains that we aren’t. Men at work should not apply at some positions.

There are some jobs that  only women are best for. Where I do not need a man really. But for centuries they have remained there making me uncomfortable.

There are some places where even if the men at work are doing their job just fine, I find it hard to look into his eyes, or strike a work related conversation. It is not that I haven’t raised my voice in such places, yet I would rather men be debarred from such jobs.

If you are a female you would agree with most points and yes, feel free to comment and to add more places that I might have missed.

Here is my list of 5 places where men should be banned.
Completely.

 

  1. LINGERIE SHOP:

 

You and I enter the lingerie shop or counter at the mall or the local shop and immediately feel a scanner up our back, down to the toes. The two men at the counter have already measured us up.

Perhaps they know the size our bust better than we do. Infact, soon they would suggest which cup size. “No Madam, this would be too tight for you,  but you can try size 36 but with cup size B. It will fit well and set well too.”

When you resist or argue they pick the  bra high up in the air, stretch it apart as if they were doing the stretch exercises on the band and say, “Nahi mam, ye aapka hi size hai,main bataa raha hun na!” (No Madam, this is your size only, I am telling you!) And you feel like disappearing right then, all of you with that 36 size and all.

 

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  1. PARCHOON KI DUKAAN/LOCAL GROCERY SHOP:

 

This is a shop you have been frequenting every evening since you were a four year old. Then, with your parents or holding hands of siblings and now, on your own for the daily purchases for the next day’s breakfast also known as bread and butter.

It doesn’t make it any more comforting if instead of Jindal uncle it’s his son and my senior in school Amit Bhaiya who is at the counter when I have to order my monthly dose of sanitary pads. Of course, they try to make it appear like any other order at the store, but you can make out the sudden lowering of volume, keeping in consideration I am Rao Uncle’s daughter and being especially thoughtful in packing my ‘special’ order in a ‘black-cheap polythene bag-that-no-one knows-the-contents-of.’

Amit Bhaiya, you could not have made it more obvious than this. Thankyou. Ideally, I want you to be barred from this shop or keep the smirk off your face, so that I could tell a lady seller what size of the sanitary pad I wanted, night long or summer holidays long, with wings or with tails, for a normal flow or a Brahmaputra flow.

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  1. MEDICAL SHOP:

 

Baap re! Thankfully times have changed and we now have 24 hour medical shops with a pick- your -own stuff and pay at the counter. It’s the best thing to have happened to those who have to make extremely essential and many a times urgent purchases like a condom or in dire straits for the morning- after- pill at odd hours of the day and night.

And if these are to be purchased at a medical store with a sweaty, grumpy man at the counter who invariably has a super lazy, tired and hard of hearing help boy then you are done with. Your romantic predispositions are held at the disposal of these two men who can make it or crash it.

It still begins with a state of shocked expression, “Condom? Kaunsa flavor? Kaunsa texture?“-Aloud. And in his mind you can hear him say “Woman asking for condom? Ghor Kalyug!”

And when asking for the morning after pill, giving it with a nod as if saying… “Aisa karega to aisaich hoyenga” or “where is her man?”

I would do much better without your insinuating looks and gestures. Frankly, I don’t know why you work here. I would rather tell the condom specifications to a female salesperson, asking her opinion too, of shape, size, colour, long lasting- everything! You should ideally be banned from the Medical Shop.

 

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  1. THE SPA:

 

Off course, we love a firm rough, heavy hand for our- body massages but the other pressure is over bearing when you have to consciously and continuously trace and trail the hand movements all over our body. That subtle change of pressure and feel of the hand that makes you squirm and become uncomfortable.

After one distasteful such experience during college days in one of the better known salons of the time in Green Park, I stayed away from them.

The men masseurs aren’t lucky enough to reach my spa room but even the guy who gives a neck and shoulder massage as an add- on to the head massage should be barred since many a times the hand simply wanders. And  then we create a ruckus and then he is admonished only to be back on the job after an hour.

I am happy with a softer firmer hand than one that touches my skin under the garb of a body spa or a head massage!

 

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  1. TAILOR MAN:

Pray tell me someone, why does the tailor have to be a man??? Why?

I mean apart from the fact that I have to stand with my legs apart in front of him each time he measures and strangely writes all the figures that don’t somehow add up to a perfect one and making me self- conscious.

I don’t mind a woman tailor or the boutique lady owner measuring me up. But a strange unknown man scrawling my figures on the receipt book with a pen taken out from behind that sweaty unwashed right ear. While he measures you with the tape he eyes you too. When measuring the bust why do I feel his touch changes?

Forgot about the leching part, I mean, he has never even understood why I want a blouse that is 9 inches deep from the back. Why should he be stitching my blouse? He should be banned from the tailors shop as then I can get the best blouses stitched with the lady tailor and tell her exactly where I want a cut and where I want a slit without sounding desperate!

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P.S. Incidents of men taking the liberty of touching, feeling, pinching, groping at the above said places left an indelible mark on the author’s subconscious mind hence the origin of this piece.

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